December 6

Jiggers Journal, Part 6

Now we were inside Bunratty and it was time to find the big man himself. I was a bit worried because another black feather had fallen out of my boot.

“And you know what that means,” I said to Leroy.

“No I don't,” he said. But he agreed to help me search the castle anyway.

The only problem was, we weren't in the castle. We were in a street in a small village beside the castle.

Kate couldn't help. She had to stay with her parents. She was on a mission of her own, to find Santa. We were on our own mission, to report to Santa. So we went our separate ways. Kate seemed surprised. I don't know why she expected us to stay with her. She seemed to be reluctant to let me go and I had to wiggle out of her arms in a most undignified manner.

“You should stay with me,” she said. “It would be simpler.”

But we were moving away. As we ran I could hear her father scolding her: “Have you lost your doll already?” But she fobbed him off by saying she had left it at the ticket counter and would pick it up later. For a moment I wondered what doll they were talking about, then I remembered; I was the doll. Not cool.

Leroy and I ran quickly. He stayed on all fours, which looked strange because by now I was so used to seeing him on two legs. And he was fast. I struggled to keep up.

“Hold on,” I bellowed. “I have only two legs.”

I did think of riding on his back, but he wasn't that big a dog. Then I got a great idea. He was meant to be on a lead, and Kate had given me the lead. So when he stopped to let me to catch up I managed to slip the lead around his collar. He wasn't expecting that!

I wasn't expecting what came next. He took off like a ball out of a cannon, and I was still holding tightly to the lead. So it yanked me off my feet. Suddenly I was being dragged along the ground at a terrible speed. Families had to jump out of the way or be knocked over. He dragged me through puddles and mud, along the edge of hedges and through wet grass. We hit off a dustbin and a tree, then he began running up the steps of the castle to the big wooden entrance door. And of course I bounced on every step.

By the time we finished our wild ride we were inside the first room of the castle, and he stopped very suddenly. I kept flying and bumped right into his back. He fell over and hit the leg of an American tourist, who turned around to shout at someone, but couldn't see anyone to shout at. He should have looked down. Leroy and I were on the ground laughing at him.

Leroy got his breath back while I surveyed the damage. I was as dirty and wet as I had been yesterday, and my medieval costume was destroyed.

“Did you have to run so fast?” I asked.

“I didn't have to,” he said. “But I wanted to. It's no fun to run slowly.”

I had nothing to say to that, so we began our search of the castle. We searched high and low, then low and high. No luck. So we searched here and there, then there and here. We still couldn't find Santa. It was a bit strange. He's normally very easy to find. You just follow the line of children and there he is at the top of the line, sitting down and chatting with everyone, giving them presents. I hate that. I am an elf, and we make the presents. Not me, because I am the head of the Secret Elf Service. But my mates make them. And when Santa gives out presents, we have to make more. Busy, busy, busy. I keep telling him to give out lumps of coal, but he prefers the toys and games.

So when we couldn't find Santa, we searched for children. Again we went high and low, then low and high. Again we went here and there, then there and here. Finally we went too and fro, then fro and too, then over and back, then back and over. No children.

We sat near at the very top of the castle and considered our options. No Santa, no children. And another black feather in my boot.

“You know what that means,” I said.

“For the hundredth time, I don't know what that means,” said Leroy. “I am not an elf. I know nothing about these things. I know about chasing cats and burying bones, and chewing the heads off Barbie dolls, and other dog things. Black feathers are not a dog thing.”

I nodded wisely.

“We both know what that feather means,” I said.

Leroy got up and began to walk around. Then he jumped onto the low wall that surrounded the roof of the castle. Now he had a great view, just so long as he didn't fall down the three hundred feet to the courtyard below.

“Can dogs fly?” I asked. I knew the answer.

“Of course not,” he said.

“Then get down from the wall.”

“You sound just like Kate.”

Since he wasn't going to get down, I got up. I stood on the edge of the turret and looked out across the village below.

“What are we looking for?” he asked.

“Big dude in a red suit. I keep telling him to get with the times and buy some new threads. But do you think he listens?”

“I wonder that all those kids are doing?” said Leroy.

I looked in the direction he was pointing, and saw about forty kids in a queue outside a long low stone building in the middle of the village. It was like they were taking turns to go inside for something.

“They might be looking for extra homework,” I said doubtfully.

“For an elf you really don't know children. They never queue for extra homework,” he said. “Not even Kate, and she's one of the best.”

“I wonder what it is then,” I said.

“Probably Santa,” he replied nonchalantly.

Then we looked at one another, and at the same time, we shouted: “Santa!”